Long-time MMA Forum Moderator, Yari, known as one of the most subservient human beings on this Earth, has admitted to having no friends. The startling revelation was brought to light after admitting that he could not enjoy the new local multiplayer modes of EA UFC 3, which he refers to as “couch modes.” He criticized the developers, stating “Now it’s pretty much 2018 and EA thinks we can summon a group of friends to our couch…”
The philosopher Aristotle said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”
If you live in the Netherlands and would like to become friends with Yari, please contact us at gdfishingtime.
In one of the most shocking developments in MMA gaming history, Neil “drinklime” Pirelli has declared peace with fishingtime. gdfishingtime learned of these developments after receiving this information from an anonymous source, citing confidentiality. The anonymous source claims to have received a notarized statement from drinklime. The contents of the statement are presented below in their entirety:
In 2009 THQ released UFC Undisputed 2009, developed by a small but dedicated group of Japanese developers at Yukes. I owned an Xbox 360 and discovered a demonstration version of this title on Xbox Live. The game featured Charles “Iceman” Liddell against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. I immediately fell in love with the game, as it was a near-perfect representation of the sport of Mixed Martial Arts.
Over the years, a community gathered around this and other MMA games. The leader of that community was known as fishingtime.
We immediately butted heads. We tried to settle our differences through several Mixed Martial Arts bouts, but the animosity continued for several years. I attempted to express my displeasure using several MMA message boards, but I was unfortunately censored by several short-sighted authorities.
I long suspected that these authorities were being directed through back channels by fishingtime himself. I developed a secret international network of spies that revealed the truth behind what was going on. The authorities in question continued to sully my name, accusing me of crimes I never committed.
I assumed that I would never be able to resolve my differences with fishingtime. Not unless something changed.
Recently I was informed that due to Electronic Arts’ recent destruction of the MMA community, fishingtime had parted ways with the very authorities that sought to destroy me.
In addition, fishingtime has turned his life around. He abandoned the thugs at Electronic Arts and started a motivational fitness program. He lost over 80 pounds and began living a healthy life while inspiring and helping others.
When I was a young man in Okinawa, I met a very wise master of karate. I learned not only about martial arts, but many other life lessons as well. Among the lessons he taught me was the following expression:
起死回生 “Wake from death and return to life”
I have decided that it is time to forgive fishingtime, and I hope that he will forgive me. We have nothing to gain from fighting against each other. It will only lead us towards death. Instead, we both have a renewed focus on life, and will continue to dedicate our lives to such pursuits.
The path of peace is preferable to the path of war. It is for the sake of the MMA community, including myself, fishingtime, our families, their children and their grandchildren, that we must put an end to these hostilities.
I officially declare peace with Damon “fishingtime” Gesell.
fishingtime wrote a detailed reply to butterbean569 after he threatened the authors of this blog. We here at gdfishingtime take threats very seriously and forwarded these statements to law enforcement. After completing this portion of the investigation, federal authorities allowed us to share this post.
fishingtime touches on a number of topics including THQ_Shamownage, the lawsuit against EA, death rocks, blaming his father for cussing people out online, harrassment on Operation Sports, banning trolls, his trip to THQ headquarters, recruiting Yari to his subreddit, reporting Rampage76O to Twitter, sending glassjaw to jail, cyber-harrassment on WordPress, the Supreme Court of the United States, the Ontario Provincial Police, filing a police report on drinklime, harrassing SwedishTouch76, the stolen Xbox, watching online pornography, and the hijacked Facebook group.
gdfishingtime.wordpress.com has obtained the following statement from glassjaw. Below is the statement in its entirety:
I feel it’s time the people of the MMA Fighting Community along with whatever followers Damon Gesell aka “Fishingtime ” has know the truth about this man. I use the term man very loosely.
It all started many years ago when I joined a site associated with the THQ MMA games. I joined this site under the identity of “Glassjaw”. Immediately I noticed Fishingtime as he seemed to post almost constantly and in every thread. As I recall he had close to 17000 posts on there in the short period of time the site had been around. You read that right. 17000 posts 😐
Being the logical person I am I immediately assumed there’s no way this person held down full time employment. I immediately noticed Fishingtime would chastise posters right in threads throwing the TOS in their face. 90% of the time these posts were not directed at him. So I asked him one day if he was the Moderator. After some evasive responses and weak justification he admitted he was in fact not a Moderator.
This I believe got the ball rolling for Fishingtime’s dislike for me as I had made him look a tad foolish for his overzealous behaviour. Little did I know he had already begun a slanderous campaign behind the scenes against me.
He had immediately begun pm’ing his pal and buddy Yari complaining about me. Yes that same Yari many of you know as a Moderator on EA. The 2nd incident which I believe led to a further decay in our interaction involved a immature teenage poster named ArScrubs on THQ. Of course at the time I had no idea his age nor do I/ did I care.
I was in a thread one day discussing PED’s in MMA. Which we all now know has become a large issue. Back then it was more hush/hush. I pointed out that Sean Sherk was a known steroid user based on 3 points. His physique. The acne all over his back. A failed drug test.
Immediately this ArScrubs poster ( who was a Sean Sherk fan ) went into a profanity laced tirade directed at me. Fishingtime proceeded to join the attack and accuse me of ” harrassement”. Apparently I was “harassing ” ArScrubs because he was just a teenager which in some bizarre universe means I’m not allowed to have an opinion on PED users in MMA.
From there it progressed to Fishingtime following me into numerous threads baiting me into arguments so he could turn around and PM Yari and get me banned.
I had a long very informative discussion with Yari via pm at that time. He admitted Fishingtime was annoying, had too much time on his hands and had been pming him constantly to ban me.
At this point I openly questioned Fishingtime about that along with his 17k posts and the fact he was seemingly on the board 24/7. After a tonne of excuses and evasive behaviour he finally conceded he was unemployed. I couldn’t keep the reasons / excuses straight though. First it was carpel tunnel/ arthritis. ( maybe don’t game and type on forums so much ) Then it was he didn’t have a car and taking a bus anywhere for gainfull employment was at least an hour. Then it was he took medication for anxiety.
Eventually Fishingtime got his way his baiting me led to me crossing the line in threads. At that point I didn’t care. It was obvious Fishingtime had the backing of Yari and could skirt the TOS while throwing it in other’s faces…..
Fast forward to now and I’ll simply say this. I’m willing to bet Fishingtime still doesn’t work based on the time spent on forums. Yet he has time to make a blog, YouTube tips videos and participate in Podcasts. So if you’re an American citizen reading this who gets up 5 days or more a week to bust your ass at a job ask yourself this…
That 20 dollars Fishingtime is currently giving away on his precious Sub Reddit in an EA KO Contest. Did your tax dollars pay for that? Along with him bring able to own both a PS4 and an XB1 along with the latest video games.
I mean he actually went so far as to say he PURCHASED 2 COPIES of EA UFC 2 to show his support.
I can’t speak on the United States but welfare / Social Assistance sure doesn’t pay that well here in Canada.
One final note. Fishingtime has accused me of calling his house and living in Ontario Canada. I’ve told him many times I live on the West Coast of Canada. Ontario is East…..