Long-time MMA Forum Moderator, Yari, known as one of the most subservient human beings on this Earth, has admitted to having no friends. The startling revelation was brought to light after admitting that he could not enjoy the new local multiplayer modes of EA UFC 3, which he refers to as “couch modes.” He criticized the developers, stating “Now it’s pretty much 2018 and EA thinks we can summon a group of friends to our couch…”
The philosopher Aristotle said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”
If you live in the Netherlands and would like to become friends with Yari, please contact us at gdfishingtime.
In one of the most shocking developments in MMA gaming history, Neil “drinklime” Pirelli has declared peace with fishingtime. gdfishingtime learned of these developments after receiving this information from an anonymous source, citing confidentiality. The anonymous source claims to have received a notarized statement from drinklime. The contents of the statement are presented below in their entirety:
In 2009 THQ released UFC Undisputed 2009, developed by a small but dedicated group of Japanese developers at Yukes. I owned an Xbox 360 and discovered a demonstration version of this title on Xbox Live. The game featured Charles “Iceman” Liddell against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. I immediately fell in love with the game, as it was a near-perfect representation of the sport of Mixed Martial Arts.
Over the years, a community gathered around this and other MMA games. The leader of that community was known as fishingtime.
We immediately butted heads. We tried to settle our differences through several Mixed Martial Arts bouts, but the animosity continued for several years. I attempted to express my displeasure using several MMA message boards, but I was unfortunately censored by several short-sighted authorities.
I long suspected that these authorities were being directed through back channels by fishingtime himself. I developed a secret international network of spies that revealed the truth behind what was going on. The authorities in question continued to sully my name, accusing me of crimes I never committed.
I assumed that I would never be able to resolve my differences with fishingtime. Not unless something changed.
Recently I was informed that due to Electronic Arts’ recent destruction of the MMA community, fishingtime had parted ways with the very authorities that sought to destroy me.
In addition, fishingtime has turned his life around. He abandoned the thugs at Electronic Arts and started a motivational fitness program. He lost over 80 pounds and began living a healthy life while inspiring and helping others.
When I was a young man in Okinawa, I met a very wise master of karate. I learned not only about martial arts, but many other life lessons as well. Among the lessons he taught me was the following expression:
起死回生 “Wake from death and return to life”
I have decided that it is time to forgive fishingtime, and I hope that he will forgive me. We have nothing to gain from fighting against each other. It will only lead us towards death. Instead, we both have a renewed focus on life, and will continue to dedicate our lives to such pursuits.
The path of peace is preferable to the path of war. It is for the sake of the MMA community, including myself, fishingtime, our families, their children and their grandchildren, that we must put an end to these hostilities.
I officially declare peace with Damon “fishingtime” Gesell.
fishingtime wrote a detailed reply to butterbean569 after he threatened the authors of this blog. We here at gdfishingtime take threats very seriously and forwarded these statements to law enforcement. After completing this portion of the investigation, federal authorities allowed us to share this post.
fishingtime touches on a number of topics including THQ_Shamownage, the lawsuit against EA, death rocks, blaming his father for cussing people out online, harrassment on Operation Sports, banning trolls, his trip to THQ headquarters, recruiting Yari to his subreddit, reporting Rampage76O to Twitter, sending glassjaw to jail, cyber-harrassment on WordPress, the Supreme Court of the United States, the Ontario Provincial Police, filing a police report on drinklime, harrassing SwedishTouch76, the stolen Xbox, watching online pornography, and the hijacked Facebook group.