Long-time MMA Forum Moderator, Yari, known as one of the most subservient human beings on this Earth, has admitted to having no friends. The startling revelation was brought to light after admitting that he could not enjoy the new local multiplayer modes of EA UFC 3, which he refers to as “couch modes.” He criticized the developers, stating “Now it’s pretty much 2018 and EA thinks we can summon a group of friends to our couch…”
The philosopher Aristotle said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”
If you live in the Netherlands and would like to become friends with Yari, please contact us at gdfishingtime.
In one of the most shocking developments in MMA gaming history, Neil “drinklime” Pirelli has declared peace with fishingtime. gdfishingtime learned of these developments after receiving this information from an anonymous source, citing confidentiality. The anonymous source claims to have received a notarized statement from drinklime. The contents of the statement are presented below in their entirety:
In 2009 THQ released UFC Undisputed 2009, developed by a small but dedicated group of Japanese developers at Yukes. I owned an Xbox 360 and discovered a demonstration version of this title on Xbox Live. The game featured Charles “Iceman” Liddell against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. I immediately fell in love with the game, as it was a near-perfect representation of the sport of Mixed Martial Arts.
Over the years, a community gathered around this and other MMA games. The leader of that community was known as fishingtime.
We immediately butted heads. We tried to settle our differences through several Mixed Martial Arts bouts, but the animosity continued for several years. I attempted to express my displeasure using several MMA message boards, but I was unfortunately censored by several short-sighted authorities.
I long suspected that these authorities were being directed through back channels by fishingtime himself. I developed a secret international network of spies that revealed the truth behind what was going on. The authorities in question continued to sully my name, accusing me of crimes I never committed.
I assumed that I would never be able to resolve my differences with fishingtime. Not unless something changed.
Recently I was informed that due to Electronic Arts’ recent destruction of the MMA community, fishingtime had parted ways with the very authorities that sought to destroy me.
In addition, fishingtime has turned his life around. He abandoned the thugs at Electronic Arts and started a motivational fitness program. He lost over 80 pounds and began living a healthy life while inspiring and helping others.
When I was a young man in Okinawa, I met a very wise master of karate. I learned not only about martial arts, but many other life lessons as well. Among the lessons he taught me was the following expression:
起死回生 “Wake from death and return to life”
I have decided that it is time to forgive fishingtime, and I hope that he will forgive me. We have nothing to gain from fighting against each other. It will only lead us towards death. Instead, we both have a renewed focus on life, and will continue to dedicate our lives to such pursuits.
The path of peace is preferable to the path of war. It is for the sake of the MMA community, including myself, fishingtime, our families, their children and their grandchildren, that we must put an end to these hostilities.
I officially declare peace with Damon “fishingtime” Gesell.
Long-time EA developer Geoff Harrower, better known as GameplayDevUFC and rEAnimator, dropped a bombshell on reddit, asking if a “game developer” should “quit his job because he works on a game that contains micro transactions.” He considered the idea as part of a series of “deeply personal questions” and a “burden” that “none of us can escape.” He likened it to “two people giving each other CTE.” The post was made in the hugely popular r/MMA subreddit. It is not clear if the “video game developer” in question refers to himself or a fictional entity.
Tensions have reached an all-time high regarding fishingtime‘s recent ban from Operation Sports. Cries of censorship have escalated all the way to the White House, forcing United States President Donald Trump to fly directly to St. Charles, Missouri, where fishingtime resides. Hours before the President was expected to call for the restoration of fishingtime’s Twitter account, protesters gathered outside of the St. Charles Convention Center.
Jeramie Glassjaw, of St. Peters, said he came to decry Operation Sports’s behavior and harsh rhetoric, which protesters outside the convention center say has sparked a wave of hostility against EA UFC 3, Ultimate Team, and microtransactions.
“The microtransaction plan is criminal,” Glassjaw said. “Encouraging children to gamble is yet another example of detestable game design practices on behalf of EA.”
But the dominant message on St. Charles streets was that Operation Sports censorship has been bad for the nation, particularly members of the MMA gaming community. Trump claimed that the Bill of Rights, particularly the First Amendment, applies to all United States citizens, including fishingtime.
“With Trump as your President, we are going to be celebrating Merry Christmas again, and it’s going to be done with a big, beautiful tax cut,” said the President.
For the second time in 2017, Operation Sports has decided to ban fishingtime due to yet another incident of harassment. The list of fishingtime’s victims continues to grow. Perhaps inspired by the sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and Matt Lauer, several gamers publicly spoke out against fishingtime’s untoward behavior. As always, we at gdfishingtime will continue to report on the latest developments.
We encourage any other victims to come forward. We will not back down against these heinous crimes.
We at gdfishingtime have been alerted to new harrassment charges against fishingtime. The target of these attacks is none other than SwedishTouch76, a long time MMA video gaming practitioner. Unfortunately despite repeated attempts to stop fishingtime, his campaign of hate continues. Despite this constant bullying SwedishTouch76 stood his ground, forcing mods to once again threaten fishingtime with a site-wide ban.
Host of popular YouTube channel FishWatch, Earl Bivington, better known by most as belikepepsi, was detained by British authorities due to claims of bullying. The channel has since been shut down, but details are not known at this time.
FishWatch became popular after publishing videos uncovering information about fishingtime, who has previously made similar false claims of bullying across the globe. Things came to a head due to the recent information concerning fishingtime and Charlie Zelenoff. We at gdfishingtime apologize for broken links, as many videos were hosted by FishWatch. We will continue to investigate fishingtime and his nefarious deeds at home and abroad. We refuse to remove content no matter how many false claims are made against our affiliates.